The image of a safety net being pulled out from underneath me came into my head and I started to panic.Paul was being stripped from me and the safety net that had been there for "if things go wrong, go back to being Paul" was no more. Not only that, but neither was mum. I was beginning to see that all too clearly.I was being unreasonable I know. She in truth had never been there for me since she remarried. I guess I was asking a lot for her to suddenly have time for me AND accept the changes I was going through all in one go, but she WAS my mother after all's said and done.It all seemed so simple in Dr. Whaite's office with the comfort and encouragement from Lily and the doctor herself, but I found I was on my own at this point and it felt like I was stepping into a black hole with no idea of what was on the other side.Lily knocked softly on my door and asked to come in."It's all very real now isn't it?" she said."Oh Lily." I blubbed. "I think I've made a BIG mistake." Why?" What if. I turnedaround and saw two of her girlfriends coming toward us, they were only afew feet away, there was nothing I could do."Hi Gwen. Who's your friend?" Tanya said as they sat at our table. Ilooked around for a hole to crawl into, saw none, so I just sat there."Hi gang." Gwen said without missing a beat, "This is my cousin, Dawn.She is visiting for a few days."I can see a resemblance." Said Rose, the other girl.I could see both girls looking at me. After about five minutes Gwen and Ihad to go home, now I could not wait to get there. "By Gwen, by Dawn...son of a bitch, you're not Dawn. Tanya...this isNorman, Gwen's brother." I felt like I was going to piss my pants. I knewwe could not fool them for long. What was going to happen now?"Why is he wearing girl's clothes?" They said almost as one.Gwen told them that I had lost a bet and had to spend a few hours as agirl, wow, can she think fast.I am not going to bore you with a lot of dialog here; I'm just going tosay that they thought it.
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